About a year ago I attempted a 90 min. seated meditation.
It didn't go as planned. I practiced intensely for several months, thinking I could achieve this goal in the same way I used to approach my physical training. I wanted to sit comfortably, in stillness, will little to no distraction (despite it being brutally hot with bugs everywhere) for the full 90 min. Of course, it didn't happen that way. After the experience, I thought it was a complete disaster. Which is when I realized something.
Deep states of meditation, that is to say, a state of focus and contentment, happen spontaneously. Any intention to create the circumstance will not make it's coming about more likely, sometimes it actually does the opposite. There can be no forcing it into happening, it happens on its own. Of course, some factors will encourage the arrival of such states. Silence and solitude will help, but meditation is not something that comes out of us. It comes to us.
So to have I begun to see almost everything in life. Health, wealth, love, laughter, power... The things we crave do not come from our actions, they do not come out of us. They come from beyond our selves, they come to us. We do not create the things we desire through goal setting and planning... but we can be open to accepting these things into our lives when the time is right.
Most coaches of various kinds resist this idea. Our entire profession is based on helping others decide what they want, creating a specific goal, and a plan to achieve it. Though, all coaches, trainers, and gurus know deep down... these are only superficial comforts. When we are ready to receive something, it comes. That readiness is spontaneous.
This is not to say we should not try to change anything, because we will still desire for something more... it's human nature. The challenge is this:
Try to change, but be unattached from the change you seek.
Make plans, create goals, but don't expect them to play out in real life the way they do on paper.
Above all else, listen... to the world, to your own thoughts, and to others. Without judgment, without labeling, without attachment, without resistance. Just listen.
With patience, what you desire will come.
Thanks for reading. Wishing you well,